Choosing your bridesmaids and groomsmen is often a challenging task.  Between family, childhood friends, school friends and others, it is difficult to decide who to include in your wedding party.  These tips will help you decide who makes the coveted list.

1. Put family first

While you may be very close to friends who feel like family, it's important that your actual family be included in the bridal party.  Family members want to do more than just attend your wedding; they want to play an active role in the big day.  Including them as a bridesmaid or groomsman helps convey the importance that you place on that relationship.  For the bride:  if you have one or more sisters (or sister-in-laws), we recommend including them in the bridal party.  Many brides often go a step further and make their sister the maid of honor.  For the groom: it is  a good idea to include your brothers or brother-in-laws as groomsmen, ushers, or to give them another role on the big day.

2.  Be selective

We have all attended weddings where it takes thirty minutes for the bridal party to make their way down the aisle.  While it is important to include your closest family and friends in the wedding party, adding bridesmaids and groomsmen in order to have a larger group may not make sense.   Additionally, as soon as you include one person from a period in your life (high school friends for example), there is added pressure to include others who would consider themselves to be in the same boat. By being selective about who you include in your wedding party, you will ensure that you are surrounded by those closest to you on your big day.

3. Try to understand peoples' circumstances

Hopefully all those closest to you and your fiancé will be available to be part of your big day.  If one of your bridesmaids or groomsmen cannot make it to the wedding, try to understand, and don't let their absence harm your big day or the relationship. 

Choosing bridesmaids and groomsmen can be a difficult process, especially while making sure everyone feels included and not hurting peoples' feelings.  By following these tips you will increase your chances of a smooth bridal party selection.